The Undressed Child
Why toddlers love being naked
Many of us have been embarrassed by stories our parents have told a friend or date about the the time when they left us alone briefly as a toddler, only to return and find us completely naked, or of how we went through a naked phase. These stories are so common because toddlers – then and now – tend to take their clothes off as part of typical childhood development.
In a recent BabyCenter.com article, child therapist Kimberly Clayton Blaine was quoted as saying, “it’s perfectly normal for toddlers to undress themselves and resist clothing – it’s just a way to assert their independence from Mom and Dad and show they have their own opinions and abilities.” In other words, they are growing up and wanting to assert their independence.
She further states that the act of “undressing and taking off diapers involves very advanced motor skills” that signal milestones in your little one’s development.
Because refusing to get dressed or taking clothes off is a sign of skill development and growth, parents should chalk it up to the phase that it is and avoid making a fuss about it. The folks at What to Expect recommend that you try not to overreact (or even react at all) to your child getting undressed. “Acting horrified or punishing? your little one will send the message that his body is something to be ashamed of. And if you laugh, he’ll think, “Aha! Here’s a way to get attention,” and you’ll set yourself up for repeat (strip-tease) performances.”
So what you can do about it?
Accepting that your child likes to undress does not mean that you need to allow it anywhere or anytime. Here are some ideas for encouraging your child’s independence, while decreasing your embarrassment and frustration.
Allow nudity: When circumstances allow for it, let your toddler be naked if they want to be. Encouraging a specific “naked time” during the day, when your child is free to run around without their clothes on, can help you make sure that your child undresses when the temperature, surroundings, and situation are ones you are comfortable with.
Encourage potty time: Some children may have a tendency to go to the bathroom when they are naked – and not always where they should. Encourage them to go to the bathroom before undressing completely.
Dress them appropriately or strategically: If you want to encourage them to go potty on their own before getting undressed, dress them in loose, elastic-waist pants that they can easily remove on their own. If, on the other hand, you are going out and want to avoid spontaneous, public disrobing, dress your little one in outfits that are hard for them to remove, such as clothes with buckles, belts, suspenders, or small buttons or snaps.
Set boundaries: While undressing can sometimes be a spontaneous event, you may want to set boundaries to help your child understand when it’s NOT alright to undress, such as when you are away from home, it’s cold outside, or you have company over.
Let them practice: Don’t want your child undressing themselves? Give them a large doll or stuffed bear with clothing that is easy to put on or take off. Doll clothes with large buttons, easy to zip zippers, and Velcro give them opportunities to practice using their motor skills. Help them out if they need it.
What if I can’t get my child to put their clothes on?
Let them pick their clothes: Children at this age assert their independence by removing their clothing. But, they may also do so by refusing to wear anything unless they get to choose it themselves. While that princess costume or their favorite PJs are OK sometimes, try pulling two or three outfits out for them to choose from when you want to have more influence on what they wear.
Give them structured choices: Blaine recommends offering choices that include what you want rather than open-ended ones. “Don’t say, ‘Do you want to get dressed now?’ Say, ‘Do you want to run around the table four more times and then get dressed, or do you want to get dressed now?’”
Reward them: Let your toddler know that they will receive a reward for getting dressed – make the reward specific and timely so that they know exactly what’s in it for them.
Be persistent: Sometimes your only option is to follow your toddler around and re-dressing them as soon as they undress themselves. Repeatedly. Until they get it. : )
Again, don’t worry. This is a phase that your child will outgrow – usually by the time they are 4. One day, their behavior will be a funny memory for you and an embarrassing story to tell their dates.
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